The Orange Badge of Parenthood

Parenting Lesson of the Day: Always check your ears for dried sweet potato *before* leaving for work.

I was settling down to feed my daughter after work, and an itch happened upon my ear. So, not to delay the agony, I scratched it. And while the itch was removed, so was a blob of dried sweet potato, the shrapnel from Ginny's breakfast experimentation. Paranoia set in. Did anyone at work notice? Of course it was the day that a member of the board was coming to observe us at work. I wonder, if they did notice, what they thought it was? Ear wax?? Or would they assume correctly that it was some badge of new-parenthood that decorated my ear.

The badge was clearly donned this morning when Ginny decided to blow a raspberry on her spoon full of sweet potato. No big deal, feeding a baby new food is going to be messy. But for parents that must raise a child and work outside of the home, how do we prepare ourselves for appearances in civilization? If food shows up on ears, where else must one check? I can't do a body scan every time I step outside.

So parents, the only option is: Wear the badge with courage and defiance! I *will* saunter around in society with blobs of food all over my body! Take that board members, grocery store cashiers, and post office clerks!

Baby...What's the Word?

Above Picture--Ginny: "Hmm..."

"I have a really bad case of baby...."
"What?"
"Hmm? Sorry, was I saying something?"

The above is not huge exaggeration of how my brain works on a day to day basis. Somewhere during my second trimester of pregnancy, I developed a bad case of "Pregnancy Brain". If your not familiar with this condition, it's when your brain turns to absolute mush. I'll give you an example: All during my pregnancy I worked at a library. One of my duties was to go outside and empty the book-drop and help check all the books in. I did this every day, several times. One morning I was heading out and I was telling my co-worker where I was going, "I'm taking the...things you unlock with..." she replied, "Keys?" "Right keys, to get all the..." "Books?" "Right books!" She chuckled: "Ah pregnancy brain! Don't worry it will go away in...20 years". I laughed. She smiled. Wait--was she being serious??

Now my daughter is six months old and my brain is still a blob of ooze for all I can tell. Some time, in the darkness of night I am sure, my pregnancy brain was switched with baby brain! I can rarely finish a sentence (that is, when I can even remember that I am speaking), or call to mind things I know (like that really big country in South America--you know the one that starts with "Br" something...). I've never felt so stupid! Anyone would find it hard to believe I ever knew anything at all! Luckily I have a couple of... those paper things that you get when you graduate that say you graduated with... something.

While baby brain can be hilarious, I'll be honest, it's *really* frustrating-for me and my husband who never knows what I'm talking about. (How can he? I don't!) I've discovered it's one of those things about parenting that you need to keep a sense of humor about or else you'll be cursing that "big South American country" everyday. Here's what I've learned: You're a parent. You don't need your brain right now. Yes that seems ridiculous. But think about it. Your baby needs to be loved and cared for. Your instincts will tell you how to accomplish that, not your factual knowledge. My daughter could really care less about how many countries of the world I can name--though, I'm getting better! Thanks Sporcle.com!--What she cares about is being loved by her parents. I don't have to speak in complete sentences to do that.

So maybe in 20 years or so, I'll be able to have a normal conversation again without someone having to remind me that I am in fact speaking. Until then, well, it's just not my priority.