Have you ever had the flu? Yeah, it sucks. Sometimes it lasts for 3, 4, maybe even 5 excruciating days. Flu sufferers might crawl into their beds and feebly update their facebook status: "I'm so sick, I can barely tell you how miserable I am... but I will, and I will turn it into a long status encouraging friends to type weepy faces on my wall and send chicken soup." Aw, how nice for them to get such an outpouring of support! Sure they will have to stay home from work or school and watch Netflix nonstop for a few days, but they will suffer, and the world will feel so sorry for them.
But have you ever had The Silent Flu? It sucks MORE. The Silent Flu is that horrible, nasty, no-good, 12 WEEK period of time where a woman who is expecting a baby basically has the flu, but here's the catch...can't tell anyone. Have you ever tried to hide the fact that you have the flu?? Let me just tell you a bit about how that works out...
#1. You don't get to call your boss and get out of work. Oh sure, I think I got one day off work that I claimed was the flu, but you can't use the flu excuse every day for 12 weeks. So rather than curl up in your bed for 5 days watching Netflix like regular flu sufferers, you must press on. You must face the daily grind. And since you are out in the world...
#2. You have to hide recent vomiting. I mean, can you imagine flu sufferers hiding the fact that nothing they ingest stays in their bodies? Oh no, they'll tell you about it. Let me tell you, puke stinks. It's hard to hide. A bit of fresh make-up can cover a little of the clammy "I-just-puked" face, but the breath is the biggest challenge. You have to attack it with both a thorough teeth-brushing as well as a hefty dose of Listerine. And yuck, the taste of all that minty-ness makes you feel really queasy...which brings us to our next point...
#3. You have to hide the fact that you are ABOUT to vomit. It's not easy walking around for 12 weeks with a disgusted look on your face. For you, or the people that have to look at you. I was pretty sure one Sunday, as I walked to the front of our church, that people could taste the cloud of ginger that surrounded me as I passed them by. And all that ginger still didn't quite dispel the feeling of nearly vomiting every time I stood up to sing a hymn.
When going to friends' houses you have to carry hidden stashes of ginger in case something sets you off (it will). "Oh you just cleaned your house, and it smells so....fresh...." Quick, toss in a ginger candy. They offer you some refreshments. "Oh this is lovely, but you know, I actually prefer this little baggy of unsalted pretzel bits that I've been carrying in my purse for weeks."
#4. You have to hide your unearthly exhaustion. Flu sufferers might get to cuddle up and sleep off their sicknesses for a few days with full sympathy, but Silent Flu sufferers would produce confused bystanders: "Sorry I can't go out to dinner with you at 6pm tomorrow, I'll be in bed..." So you have to go. You must go out and pretend you're not about to face-plant into your entree. Your friend might say, "Wow, long day? Why don't you get a cup of coffee?" Just shut-up. Shut up about the coffee!
It is ridiculous to ask expecting women to hide these horrible symptoms. And for what? In case they might sadly lose their baby? Wouldn't it make sense for people to know in case they do, and really need support from family and friends? Why must they suffer silently?
The flu season is upon us. Perhaps you will come down with the dreaded flu plague this year. Will you hide your misery?
