If you are a parent, are expecting to be a parent, or have ever stood in a long line at a grocery store, chances are you've read some parenting books. Books on parenting make sense. They can be great resources for new parents with no good reason to have any prior parenting know-how, or even if you do know a bit about raising children, things come up that you just can't anticipate while that darling bundle is still in utero: Why does baby's diaper look like THAT? Is that spit-up or vomit? You know, worthwhile stuff. But then there's the other side of parenting books. The dark side. The "how-dare-you-parent-your-own-way" side. I hate this side. Even if I feel great about how things are going raising my own children, there's always some know-it-all schmuck who says I'm doing it wrong. My supermom feelings are quickly deflated as I read that I'm really not supposed to nurse my babies to sleep, or my toddler really should be potty-trained. The absolute worst offenders in the parenting book industry are those doctor-parent types. These writers somehow view themselves as omniscient beings because they have a degree and a couple kids. I will say that they do have a leg-up in the "What-is-that-rash?" department, but they seem to be lacking in the "How-to-have-a-happy-child" area.
Parenting book authors are also all or nothing types. If you pick up any two books on parenting, one will probably feature methods of sleep training that involve closing your baby in their room and letting them scream whilst burying your head in a pillow and the other will tell you to take your baby into your own bed and let them nurse all night long. Where is the middle ground? You know, reality? The ground I live on involves setting baby up to self-soothe and then *shriek!* Nevermind...
The feeling I always get when I read parenting books is that if I'm not doing it their way, it's not the right way.
We need books (or blogs?) that allow people to parent their own way. I'd love to read a book that says "Here are some ideas about parenting" rather than "The Ultimate Guide to Being an A-type Parent". In this book it would tell you that occasionally nursing your baby to sleep would not actually result in death, or ten tips for not pulling your already thinning hair out while disciplining a toddler. I think that's the most important thing a new parent should be reading up on. You will not damage your child irrevocably if you choose sleep over self-soothing, or time-outs over self-guided discipline. Don't let Dr. Mom bully you into subscribing to her method and her method alone. (Side note: remember those early 90's commercials for Dimetapp or was it Robitussin? You know, the ones with Dr. Mom? Anyway...)
This blog anyway will continue to provide you with the realistic humorous gorey details of parenthood rather than "advice". Or you know, when I get around to writing.
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