Recently I have been reading some wonderful parenting books about how to embrace motherhood and enjoy a full-time parenting career. These authors have created easy to read and digest memoirs of the joys and spiritual journeys of being a parent.
But there's just one problem. They're all doctors, famous journalists, TV news anchors, etc. I find while I can relate to them as mothers, I don't really relate to them as women. They all affirm what an easy decision it was to become a full-time mother while feeling sorry for their career hungry girl friends who crave their fast paced lives on Wall Street or Capitol Hill. Do I even know any mothers who have any idea what's going on on Wall Street on a day to day basis? Where is Capitol Hill anyway?
Of course the decision to be a full-time mother was easy for them. All of them have husbands who have careers that pay more than perhaps even their own brushing-with-the-rich-and-famous faboo jobs. They didn't have to consider whether or not they'd have food on the table if they were to quit there jobs.
I left a part-time minimum wage job to become a full-time parent and move to a new state. At the time I made the decision, my husband was a new college graduate without a job. He eventually did get a job at a theater in the Philadelphia area making peanuts. But we could live on peanuts. Even when after two months of working at the theater, he was let go because in this horrid economy the theater couldn't afford to have a full-time props master, I didn't decide that I'd become the wage earner in the family. We would just live on even less than peanuts.
The point is, both myself and these authoresses made the decision to become full-time mommies, but from very different backgrounds. And yet, the decision was still easy to make. Even though we had *just* enough food and money to get by, I never second guessed my decision. Do those TV anchors have any friends who have lived on spaghetti for two weeks to stretch out their grocery store trips? Where are the journalists that know people who know what it's like to be on Medicaid? Where are the books by these women?
So here I am to give you that perspective. It *is* an easy decision to make to become a full-time parent. I'll tell you, spaghetti is good stuff, even after a week or so! Getting enrolled with Medicaid was one of the most frustrating things I've had to do-mainly because no one I spoke to spoke English! Sometimes you won't have rent on time, but you'll be surprised how lenient people can be. Babies can be expensive, but for a long time, all they do is nurse and poop, so you really only need to buy diapers.
While I do work a few hours a week (I get to bring Ginny with me), I don't *need* it for any self-fulfillment. Being a parent is fulfilling enough. And it doesn't really add to our finances much, I just do it for fun. If you are trying to decide whether or not you can "afford" to be a full-time parent, do it. These paid-the-big-bucks-to-write-mommy-memoirs ladies can't tell you that. It is tough to live on next to nothing and sometimes nothing, but you will NEVER regret it.
Bravo! :-)
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