Squirrely Behavior

If you know me, or have met me even once, you'll know I detest squirrels. Loathe them in fact.  Nevertheless people always give me all sorts of squirrel paraphernalia: squirrel mugs, ornaments, stuffed animals, tins, books, statues, cast iron figures, etc.  Blech.  I don't hate these items, or the people that gave them to me (I do question their sanity though), but I keep them to serve as a constant reminder of how much I hate the nasty little buggers.  People always say, "But they're so cute!". Exactly fools. That's what they want you to think.  They are just rats with fuzzy hind-ends.  But rats have the decency not to pretend they are cute.  I have been barked at more by squirrels than by dogs in my neighborhood.  I have had acorns forcefully propelled towards my head in a cold, calculated manner.  I have had my wedding flowers gnawed to bits the night before my wedding by the varmints. All the while you keep mindlessly chanting, "But they're so cute!".

Hmm? What? This is a parenting blog? Oh. Well that reminds me.  I think I might be raising a squirrel.

I came to the painful realization this morning.  My daughter was playing with some foam floor puzzles that she absolutely adores.  She will not let anyone complete these puzzles.  The air must change and send out special "I'm almost done this puzzle" waves that Ginny immediately picks up on.  She darts over and tears the puzzle apart and stuffs the pieces in her mouth.  This behavior isn't directly squirrely.  But this morning I noticed she was skittering.  Yes, skittering.  I glanced around to see what she was doing.  My skittering daughter was darting around the livingroom (Skittering and darting? This is bad...) collecting the puzzle pieces and stuffing them into her secret hiding places.  Her two main stashes are between the arm chairs an underneath the exer-saucer.  If she can't hold as much as she wants in her hands, she'll stuff the others in her mouth and continue skittering. (The puzzle pieces now have perfect Ginny Teeth impressions that makes me think dentists should invest in a supply of baby floor puzzles to get the tooth info they need.)  I came close to her when she was stashing her pieces and she got frantic!  She immediately leaped up from the floor and skittered to another part of the room.   And now that I think of it, she does wiggle her backside akin to the flick of a bushy tail...

I can just hear the squirrel enthusiasts nodding and patting each other on the back, "Good. She's getting what she deserves.  It serves her right for hating the precious squirrels. They're so cute!"